A first date is an interesting social phenomenon for any student of the human psychology. A relatively new development in the grand scale of things, the first date can be best summed up as a two-way affair that is at once audition and interview. And like most thing social it relies on our ability to communicate fast, well and easy enough to keep our interlocutorís attention. So what does one talk about on a first date?
Before discussing what to talk about itís important to discuss just how youíre supposed to talk. Though it might sound like a clichť, the most important thing is to just be you. After, all youíre meeting or getting to know somebody new, so there really is no pressure and no expectations apart from the bare minimum of decency. Being too nervous denotes insecurity and this is one of the main things that you do not want to appear to be on a date.
Itís important to remind people to act naturally especially as there is an opposing school of thought, the so-called Ďpick-up artistsí that usually suggest the exact opposite, going out of your way to seem cocky, annoying and put your partner off balance so that they are Ďintriguedí by you. This is rarely successful and irritating to somebody expecting a pleasant date. The Art of Charm dating tips section has quite a few things to say about pick-up Ďartistryí and is well worth the read.
Be Interested and Interesting
Small talk is often called and Ďartí or a Ďgiftí but it is really much less esoteric. Small talk is just regular conversation that doesnít touch upon any controversial or sensitive subjects and, in the case of a first date allows you to discover more about your date partner.
As itís your first date together you probably donít really know that much about your partner. Ask your date partner questions that are of genuine interest to you and prove that youíre a good listener as well. Try to tackle broad subjects that sheís definitely going to have strong opinions about like her job and how she likes it, her family, what movies she likes, what kind of music she likes and so on. Taklking about hobbies can also be a good conversation starter especially if you can find something that youíre mutually interested in. Another good idea is to probe her opinions of popular but controversial topics like reality television. Who knows, perhaps you can bond over a mutual dislike of Honey Boo Boo.
Small talk is easy because it simply equates to a healthy interest in the person sitting opposite you. If youíre generally talkative but find it difficult to make small talk with a person perhaps you should take it as a sign that you really donít have that much in common. On the other hand if you canít stop talking to someone even about hte most trite things, odds are youíve stumbled upon a winner here.