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Fueling up for Black Friday

November 23, 2012

I once worked with a woman whose bargain-conscious female relations made Black Friday holiday shopping into a family sport. Their day-after-Thanksgiving rituals went something like this: Dark-o'clock: Up and at 'em. Pour extremely hot coffee into extremely large thermos. Add extremely large dollop of bourbon [ed. note: we'd recommend the Aztec Slugger for any Black Friday shopper's thermos]. Bundle up in layers of fleece to combat below-freezing parking lot temperatures. Dark-fifteen: Doughnut pit stop. Dark-thirty: Caffeine and sugar kicks in just in time for competitive car parking. Dark-forty-five: Emerge into predawn cold, link arms, and run pell-mell toward shopping center. Commence wild gleeful cackling. T-minus five minutes to store opening: Review elaborate deployment patterns with family members so that everyone knows which way to scatter once inside the doors. Swig additional bourbon-laced coffee, execute additional wild gleeful cackling. T-minus one minute to store opening: Confirm presence of all necessary shopping supplies, including coupons, circulars, sharp elbows. Reconfirm rendezvous point. Store opening: Enter Thunderdome. What's your family's Black Friday tradition? (I'm of the pancakes-and-pajamas school myself.)


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