January 31, 2013
These days, she shares Blue Ivy Carter photos and expressions of love like it's her job, but not too long ago, Beyonce dealt with the ultimate maternal anguish:
Last year, husband Jay-Z briefly referenced the tragedy in "Glory," the rap track recorded within days of Blue's birth; Beyonce has never discussed the loss.
The 31-year-old is opening up for the first time about the incident and its aftermath in Life Is But a Dream, her new documentary debuting on HBO in February.
"About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time," the singer says. "I heard the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life."
"I picked out names. I envisioned what my child would look like. I was feeling very maternal."
But something went wrong, she recalls, and not for any particular reason, "I flew back to New York for my regular check up - and no heartbeat," she says.
"Literally the week before I went, everything was fine, but there was no heartbeat."
The superstar, who will perform at the Super Bowl Half Time show this Sunday (check out our Beyonce Super Bowl preview), used music to get through it.
"I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I've ever written in my life," she says.
"And it was actually the first song I wrote for my album. And it was the best form of therapy for me, because it was the saddest thing I've ever been through."
It's unclear what song that was, but the heartbreak made her successful pregnancy with Blue Ivy, who just turned one, all the more exciting and joyful.
"Being pregnant was very much like falling in love," she muse.
"You are so open. You are so overjoyed. There's no words that can express having a baby inside of you, so of course you want to scream it out and tell everyone."
When she did reveal it - at the 2011 MTV VMAs - it was one of the most Tweeted moments of all time. Just imagine when baby #2 comes along ...
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