Let’s face it, life can be busy and it’s easy to forget to practice self-care. While many of us may practice “true” self-care we may not realize all it entails – such as actions that not only improve your physical well-being, but your emotional and relational well-being as well.
That's a lesson that Gregg Lorberbaum learned early in life when he was diagnosed with a learning disability. He overcame it by developing skills of self-reflection, communication, and relationship building.
These tools helped him become one of New York City's most accomplished commercial real estate brokers – and now author of Becoming Who You Want to Be. He goes on to discuss his unique coaching techniques and highlights from his new book and shares more below!
We always hear the terms “self-care” and “self-improvement” – what do those terms mean to you as an expert in the mentor/coaching field?
Critical to self-improvement is having a process in place in which you can monitor and measure your progress against established and attainable goals. This is accomplished by committing to “do the things you say you will do.” Self-improvement then comes when the stated objective is accomplished.
With a new season, many feel that it’s time for a renewal, or a “reset.” Can you share 5 of your top tips for someone who is working to reset their lives, both personally AND professionally, this spring?
As a coach and mentor, I believe the same five tips won’t work for the general population. All of my coaching involves each person’s nuanced circumstances. But, do I strongly encourage everyoneI coach to keep a daily journal. I have found that the mind and body are closely linked and often very small changes towards a healthier lifestyle will yield large quantities of a feeling of well-being. I also stress balance and having realistic expectations. Often it is helpful to understand that many, if not all, of your specific and personal issues that you would like to improve upon are largely shared with almost everyone else you know. When you understand that other people's lives are often not as they seem, you tend to be more forgiving when it comes to your own circumstances.
In your book, Becoming, I really enjoyed the “living a role-based lifestyle" section, could you expound on this point to give our readers a glimpse of this philosophy?
Through years of reflection, I came to realize that life is not about material things but rather, the people in our lives. Those people fall rather comfortably into the different roles that we are in within based on our interactions with them. The Role Based Lifestyle is quite simple: place all of your roles in order of importance and gradually start thinking of behaviors that you can exhibit that would improve each of your roles. When you put efforts into roles, the person/people on the receiving end tend to also act in ways that make those relationships stronger and gradually the fabric of your life is enhanced. Critical to the success of this exercise is that you do not get to decide how well you are doing in each of your roles, but rather the person on the receiving end of your behavior. By far, this one aspect of my coaching has yielded the highest level of positive results.
As a consultant and coach, what makes your specific approach so helpful and successful?
Fundamental to my credentials is the fact that I use methods created and utilized by myself that have allowed me to overcome my specific learning disability. More specifically, I have kept a journal for 35 years, counting virtually every day of my life. Each day I write about the day before and then I review what happened a year ago to the day, and sometimes go 5 or 10 years back. Through this process I harvested insights and those insights have worked to the benefit of those I coach. It is the simplicity of my approach that in part has led to outstanding results. My coaching is centered around one concept: “doing the things you say you will do”. The “three things one thing” exercise which involves starting off with three easy to accomplish tasks you will do and one easy thing that you will not do. Also, critical to the coaching is that people are “generous in spirit” and “give of themselves” and they do kind acts. This very much in conjunction with doing the things you say you will do as it enhances the power of positive thought, which leads to the law of attraction and then you are bringing positive energy to you which further motivates you to continue the process.
When should an individual turn to a mentor or coach for assistance?
When they face a specific task or challenge and they are not pleased with the results they are getting. Everybody is a work in progress and we can all benefit from having a process in place to channel our efforts. Thisprocess really needs to be done in conjunction with a system where you can monitor your behavior. Most people tend not to understand how to do this, thereforthey would benefit from coaching.
How does one know if they’ve achieved some level of success in their attempts to grow? Kind of like working with a therapist, are you ever really “done,” and how do you know?
Unlike working with a therapist,my coaching involves very specific objectives that people are hoping to accomplish i.e. Transition coaching which would involve getting a new job or improving your physical health, finances, relationships etc. In virtually all of my coaching I am the person that ends the coaching based upon a specific time frame. Also, important to note is that my practice resembles the business model of TOMS Shoes. They give away one pair of shoes for every one they sell! Half of my practice is paid coaching by corporations, real estate and brokerage firms and the other half is pro Bono. When the monetary component is taken out of the process it tends to be easier to know when a client is finished, and the coaching is no longer necessary.
Grab your copy of the book today on Amazon.
