Sonyan White: Transforming Relationships One Heart at a Time


Photo Credit: Sonyan White

Sonyan White emerged from a devastating divorce with power, compassion and her ability to love intact. She found her life’s work in guiding women who want to put their divorce behind them and build the lives they were meant to live. Sonyan is a certified 'Conscious Uncoupling' coach for women who are contemplating, going through, or have been through a divorce. She is also certified as a 'Calling in the One' coach, designed for the woman who is ready to call in a man who is worthy of her love. Her promise to all her clients is simple: the best is yet to be.

What would you say to a woman who is in the midst of an agonizing divorce?

I would say, everything you are feeling is normal. If you are keying his car, cutting up his clothes, badmouthing him to the guy at the coffee shop, stalking him if he has already gone on to another woman—these are revenge behaviors and they are all normal. Divorce is devastating, even if you are choosing it. You may be trying to “get Daddy back” for your children’s sake, or you may feel as though, “I’m too old. I’m unlovable. My life is over.” These are normal thoughts. They are not true, but they are normal. If you are going a wee bit crazy, it’s not that you are weak. You’re normal. If you have the responsibility of your children, it’s a huge deal. If your emotions are out of control, this is normal.

What are the three typical responses to a divorce?

If you’re in flight mode, you’re trying to escape, pretending it’s not happening and not taking care of yourself, or you’re escaping into ice cream, the bottle, or binge shopping. These things are normal.

If you’re fight mode, you’re screaming, ranting, getting the children to side with you and oppose him, or you are making unreasonable requests with the lawyer. For example, one of my clients asked her attorney if she could get the Patek Phillipe her ex had promised her a year earlier.

If you are in freeze mode, you’re not getting out of bed, you may be eating too much, or not at all. You may believe that, “if he says that I’m this or that, and I change it, then he’ll come back.” I was that woman and my clients often behave that way. I was trying to fix myself so that I could get him back. 

Why Conscious Uncoupling? 

Conscious Uncoupling is a 5-step transformative journey to move you out of the emotional prison of divorce into a bigger, richer life. It works. It’s worked very successfully for thousands of women. It uses the most current research on divorce. Conscious Uncoupling moves you forward in your life because you don’t want to stay stuck. There are women who don’t get over their divorce for a decade. It’s not just about getting you through the healing process. It’s more than that; it’s transformative. Women who go through Conscious Uncoupling become the woman they were always meant to be. By the way, Conscious Uncoupling is nothing like therapy. We dip into your past only long enough to gather information, and utilize that to propel you forward.  

Does Conscious Uncoupling involve the family? 

Conscious Uncoupling is not a naïve process—the divorce is happening. Let’s do this in the healthiest way for all involved. We don’t want our children damaged in the future. Conscious Uncoupling is designed to heal a hurting family and work to recreate it in as healthy way as possible. 

Tell us about Calling in the One.

Calling in the One is a program that offers a radical new philosophy on relationships. There’s a big difference between longing to find your ideal partner and being truly available. In Calling in the One, you discover that it’s actually you who may be unknowingly keeping love at bay. You can unconsciously sabotage your chances for success in love and it’s not your fault. Calling in the One gently shows you how you may be keeping love away, and how to recognize and release your unconscious blocks to love. It’s really simple to learn.

Does it work? 

Calling in the One is incredibly successful. 

Who is Calling in the One designed for? 

When you’re divorced and your break-up is in your rear view mirror, you are able to contemplate the idea of a new relationship which is healthy. Only then is it time for you to call in the One.He is a man who is worthy of being in relationship with the women you have become—a man who is aligned with who you are now, a man who sees for who you are and accepts you, a man who can grow with you in life, and a man who’s really great with your kids. Everything you’ve been doing in Conscious Uncoupling has been preparing you to attract a love that you’ve never, ever had before.

Do you have to do Conscious Uncoupling in order to do Calling in the One? 

No, Calling in the One works for 20-year-olds and 70-year-olds. Love has no age. People have even taken Calling in the One to enhance their own self-love. Others have done it because they’re in a business relationship and it’s not going so well. There are no restrictions. The love in your life is unique to you. Calling in the One can help with all of them.

Would Calling in the One work for Millennials? 

Taking a 20-year-old and showing them how to create deep, long-lasting relationships that evolve over time is an honor for me.

How do you work?

I work with clients in Asia and the U.S. We meet three times a month on Skype or in person. I offer email and emergency support between sessions so no one feels abandoned. I am certified in seven coaching modalities, so I understand women who are “in their heads” and don’t seem to know what it’s like to live from their hearts.

How can someone get in touch with you? 

Check out my site and take my quiz, “Can These 10 Questions Save Your Heart?” If you’re on fire to know more, schedule a complimentary Warm Hug call with me.

Carly Zinderman

Carly Zinderman is a Senior Staff Writer for JustLuxe, based just outside of Los Angeles, CA. Since graduating from Occidental College with a degree in English and Comparative Literary Studies, she has written on a variety of topics for books, magazines and online publications, but loves fashion and style best. In her spare time, when she?s not writing, Carly enjoys watching old movies, reading an...(Read More)

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