Tipples from the Big Screen
Product Placement, you might be wondering why all of your friends and relatives are here tonight. Well, simply put, this is an intervention. You see, we find your public displays of tippling and consumption of whisky to be somewhat concerning. We worry about you Product, and we don't want you to harm yourself or the Placement name.
It seemed innocent enough at first. I mean, sure, when one spends time with Bill Murray on the set of a movie like Lost In Translation, a certain amount of debauchery is acceptable. In fact, with an affable fellow like Murray, it is to be expected. At the time, none of us were too worried about you sitting around sipping Suntory whisky.
And it seems you have a bit of a love for Canadian Club whisky as well. You've been spotted several times on the set of Mad Men. I'm afraid that this may be where the problem started. It seems your appearances on the show were enough to cause the vintage label on Dan Draper's bottle to become worn, forcing the producers to have to contact the distiller to ask for some mock up labels to use on the show. Shameful indeed, even if it is the character's favourite libation!
We've been keeping an eye on your wandering ways as well. We've noticed that you are a common fixture on American animated sitcom the Simpsons, boozing it up with your bud Homer. And don't give us that line about Duff beer not being a real product. We have access to the Internet you know? While it might not be an officially licensed product, we do know of at least three breweries, one in England, one in Germany and one in Mexico, which brew Duff. In order for us to help you, and for you to help yourself, you are going to have to move past this denial stage you are in. Please don't be angry at us, Product. We're just trying to help you because we care about you
It seems your travels have taken you as far away as the Cayman Islands. Oh, you don't remember? I'm not surprised, as it seems you were there for a whole fridge full of Red Stripe on the set of the Firm with Tom Cruise. If you can't remember, that's a sure sign that you have a problem, my dear.
Another alcohol-fuelled fugue you might not be quite able to remember may well have occurred in the movie Sideways. Yes, way back in 2004. It seems you developed a taste for Pinot Noir while there. You don't remember that? Do you, perhaps, remember criticising Merlot? At least you were discriminate in your wine tastes at the very least. I'm sorry. That was mean. I apologise, so please don't cry.
You want to know where you went wrong? Perhaps it was your association with American rap artists Busta Rhymes and P. Diddy. Ah, yes, your "homeboys." Remember how you appeared not only all over the place in their song Pass the Courvoisier but also all over their video? Barely, you say? I'm not surprised as there was quite a few different brands of alcohol being tossed back that day, but it seemed that the lion's share was Courvoisier cognac. Your behaviour that day was more than a little disgraceful, I'm afraid, although you certainly appeared to be having an excellent time during the music video.
We're sorry for hurting your feelings, my dear Product Placement. I know you feel that we are against you right now, but I assure you we have nothing but your best interests at heart. To be fair, your well-publicised alcohol tendencies have had a significant positive effect for the alcohol distilleries. Often after your appearance, sales have increased, often in significant amounts, those products you have been seen consuming. Likewise, you have the potential to reduce sales as well, as was evident after a two percent drop in sales after your appearance criticising Merlot in Sideways. So, you see your fame can go both ways. You can build up, or you can tear down. This is something that few people have the ability and the power to do.
